Melanoma Update

    

 Today marks a little over a month since I had my first surgery. It feels like this all began a lifetime ago, and at the same time, like I just got that first call that the biopsy was malignant. So much has happened in the last 30 days and though I constantly feel overwhelmed, I know I am blessed. 

Many days I wake up and my schedule is so jam packed that I don't have time to think about how I feel; I use to thrive off living this way.  More and more recently, I've realized if I don't give myself the time to cry, to be quiet, to surrender to God, etc., I'm stuck in a state of stress. I break out in a rash, my hair falls out in clumps,  I can't sleep, my lymph nodes swell... then I'm stuck obsessing are these lymph nodes swollen from stress or are they more cancer? It's no way to live. There are two ways to go about all of this for anyone facing cancer, or any adversity really. You stop living and focus on what could kill you, or you look at how far you've come, you give your mind and body grace and you try to protect them. Then, you put on your big girl panties and get back on the horse. 

I'm back on the horse.

After my last surgery, which was scalp reconstruction, I recovered for a full seven days and then had the second bolster and 20+ staples removed! If you like medical stuff, watch this.

I started to feel fear and defeat creep into my mind. All the "what if's".  I decided it was time to get back to work...with the blessings of my doctors of course. Work (most of the time) is good for my soul. Caring for other people helps take the focus from yourself. I scared a few patients when my neck bandages fell off and my caterpillar scars creeped out, but I think some of them thought twice about their trip to the ER for their toe pain... don't get me wrong, some toe pain warrants an ER trip;) 

Working with a big hole in my head, a scraped up butt and new neck jewelry certainly presented a few challenges, but I had the absolute BEST wound care nurses and coworkers to help me get through! Thank you Abbs, Riss, Chris and Dr. Cheng for tending to this butthead so delicately! Look at how quickly we recovered in just one month! Also peep the alfalfa's! Vital Proteins should sponsor me... that's way more than 1/8 of an inch of hair growth per month.

                             Here's where we started                                 One week after reconstruction                                    

                            

Week 2 

  

Fast forward to today! So much healing 

The next step in my cancer story is freezing my eggs. The treatment I'm starting is still fairly new and we don't know definitive implications on the reproductive system. The best way to preserve and protect my future babes is to freeze them-sorry kids. This process starts next week. Because we weren't originally planning to do this, it delayed treatment just a bit. To be safe, we bumped up the dates of my staging scans. In early March I'll repeat Brain MRI, CT's and ultrasound to see where we're at and start treatment the day after scans. Pray for no growth! 

Before a couple weeks ago, I adamantly refused any financial donations. I'm still able to work and I have health insurance, but cancer care is really expensive. I've humbled myself because the financial burden does become so heavy and I know what stress does to a body that's trying to fight cancer. I will never ask for anything, but if anyone feels inclined, the information is at the bottom of my blog. Prayers and encouraging words mean just as much. 

I can't conclude without saying how continuously grateful I am for every person that has supported me. I'm so thankful for the cards, calls, texts, care packages, food, financial gifts, time spent with me and everything in-between. Thank you for all of you praying with me and for me. Thank you for being a part of my life. 

XoXo,

K

https://cash.app/$KaylaUrrutiaBenefit

*Biggest thank you to all of you who have supported me financially. It's been such a huge blessing.

 

Some things friends have shared with me that I want to remember for the tougher days...

-"Scars remind us we're alive"- E. Rigby

-Nothing touches me that has not passed through the hands of my Heavenly Father. Nothing! Whatever occurs, God has sovereignly surveyed and approved. We may not know why, but we do know our pain is no accident to Him who guides our lives. Everything I endure is designed to prepare me for serving others more effectively. Everything! Since my Heavenly Father is committed to shaping me into the image of his Son, He knows the ultimate value of this painful experience. It is being used to empty our hands of our own resources, our own sufficiency, and turn us back to Him-the faithful Provider. God knows what will get through to us. -C. Swindoll via S. Hammon

https://www.tiktok.com/@realbrittanydawn/video/7049142599994772783?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id7052855473453123077 -Thank you S. Ciocca

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."                       -J. Perkins' favorite poem

-Shared by girl M. O'Brien