Malignant Melanoma

My intention for dusting off the ole blog is not to gain popularity or become something i'm not, but to shed light on this journey I quickly jumped into with my recent melanoma diagnosis. My only hope is to share what i've quickly had to learn and to shed light on something I hope no one I know or love ever has to experience. 

About a month ago I was washing my hair and felt a small bump on the top of my head. I wasn't able to see it, but one perk of being an ER nurse is you can ask your other ER nurse friends to look at something weird on your head and it typically doesn't phase them. It didn't take long for the three of us to determine this wasn't a normal mole... it checked all the boxes for a concerning mole: 

ABCDEs of melanoma
A	Asymmetry
B	Border irregularity
C	Colour variation
D	Diameter > 6mm
E	Evolving (changing).

A week later I had it biopsied and a few days after that we learned it was malignant. 

This was the day we learned it was malignant... and boy was I grateful for these girls

Things moved pretty quick from here, thanks in large part to the incredible Dr. Smith,  his one of a kind team at The Center for Plastic Surgery and my sweet mama. Dr. Smith got me in with the Huntsman Cancer Institute and the team worked wonders to coordinate all my appointments, procedures and surgeries all while still working in Alaska. 

December 8th I made the trek from Anchorage to Salt Lake City and bright and early on December 9th our day at Huntsman began. The day started with meeting the melanoma specialists and learning more about how melanoma works and spreads. Malignant melanoma seems to arise in one of three ways: genetics, history of blistering sunburns and sun exposure, or just bad luck. It spreads via blood or lymph. In my case, especially because of where mine developed, it seems to be more bad luck. I've never had a sunburn on my head or on my scalp. I also have a head full of hair that covers my scalp and I almost always wear a hat outside in the sun. I will say that I tanned in high school and that likely contributed to this diagnoses.

The day went on with PET scans, CT scans, full body skin check (including thorough inspection of every crease or spot that's never seen the sun), and a pretty uncomfortable aspiration of concerning lymph nodes.   

December 10th, surgery. Surgery took four hours of carefully cutting out 10 lymph nodes from my left neck and a radical resection of the melanoma on my head.  Because of the extensive work done in my neck, I was left with some facial paralysis, which I was told was possible, but would likely resolve within 3-6 months. By the grace of God, it fully resolved the next day!

Because of how much had to be cut from my head, I'll require a few reconstructive surgeries; turns out scalps don't stretch very well. The silver lining is there's no more cancer in my head! I had my first reconstructive surgery on December 14th. The running joke around here is that i'm a butthead. This first reconstructive surgery consisted of grafting skin from my booty and magically grinding it up to begin filling in and closing this hole on my head. So yes, I have butt skin right on top of my head.

The next tedious part of this cancer journey is fighting the melanoma that was found in my lymph nodes. I don't have all of the answers quite yet, but I know for sure I'll be doing the immunotherapy which seems to be pretty effective for this type of cancer. It consists of one IV infusion every six weeks for one year. I'll also require ultrasound and CT of my head/neck every three months for five years. The survival rate is 90% with this therapy. 

While all of this is certainly mentally and emotionaly overwhelming, I was incredibly relieved to learn that I was cancer free in my brain, lungs and pancreas, which is where this cancer likes to go. Thank you Jesus for this miracle!

There's so much I'm still learning to navigate and I know I have a long road ahead of me, but from the very moment I learned of this diagnoses I have been covered in peace and have felt so loved and protected.  I know the Heavenly Father has guarded me and protected me from all the things this fallen world tries to make our minds and spirits fall victim to. My mind has stayed strong, I've been free of worry and I've never felt alone.  I also know it's because of all the incredible people I have in my life that love me so selflessly and have met me where I was emotionally and carried me when I couldn't quite carry myself.  I had a few days where I felt mad at the world.  A few days in nature, in the middle of nowhere Alaska helped cure that. I've received the greatest outpouring of love and support from people all across the world and it's aided deeply in my ability to feel strong and to stay encouraged. I owe my deepest thanks to each and every one of you who have played a part in that. I am forever grateful. You're a large reason I'm able to carry on well and not fear the future. So many of you have told me how strong you think I am, but I'm really not. It's only because of the one who lives inside of me that i'm able to have hope that this will be okay. Even if it's not okay, I know I don't have to be fearful or be alone. 

Lastly, thank you to each of you who has been with me personally the last few weeks. Those of you who cried with me in bed, or sat in silence with me. Sat at endless appointments. Distracted me, laughed with me, called me, texted me, helped me in any way possible. Thank you for prayers and messages. Thank you for just being close. Thank you to my incredible family and thank you Josh. I think this is hardest on family and people closest to you. I love you all deeply and will never forget all that each of you has given me. 

All of my love,

K

The sweetest support dog that ever did live💕